24 Days...

And, I'll have a five year old. Holly cow that's hard to type. Five... Oh why does five have to be right around the corner. I've been dealing with a roller coaster of emotions and depression with the fact that my baby girl, who is no longer a toddler, and has been a kid for some time, will be five. Will be starting school, no longer be with me all day, be venturing on her own, and is growing up far faster than I am comfortable with. I've been in a huge slump for months trying to deal with it and get excited and enjoy the new phases/adventures we will soon be embarking on that five brings. Needless to say, I'm failing. I'm not ready. Not ready to let her go, to not have her with me all day, to have the innocence changed from being around new kids, and seeing her change and get more independent if that's possible. I'm just not. I want time to stop right now. Today. So that five doesn't come. What's wrong with me? Something has to be wrong right? I mean aren't most mom's excited for their kids to grow and experience school, make new friends, bring home their first home work assignment? I'm not. Now that all that's out for all of you to read and see. That's what's been going through my head for the past oh I don't know 6 months. I sure hope I start processing and dealing soon. It's hard to get excited for other things that are going on when every time I look at the calendar I'm that much closer to the 25th.