I've got the Blues

So I've been feeling pretty lonely lately. The kids are with my parents for a while while I under go some injections and what not for my back and neck. You would think FREEDOM, PARTY! Not the case. I honestly feel lost. I keep hearing you'll be fine just think of all you can get done while they are gone. So I tried psyching myself up. I mean organizing is a great thing, garage sale, clean out the closets, get rid of unused junk, study for my class. I'll be fine right? UGH. I can't focus, I can't concentrate, I can't feel at ease, happy, excited, nothing. What's wrong with me? After four whole years of never being without the kids except for 3 days when Paul came back from his first deployment you would think I would welcome the break. Welcome the opportunity to watch a movie from beginning to end without interruptions. Welcome the opportunity to sleep in, sleep all day if I wanted, or go to a store all by myself. I had so much planned for when they were gone I even made a list and I can't seem to wrap my mind around any of it. I go in and out of their rooms about 50 times a day, look at their pictures, watch their videos over and over, turn a corner expecting Kailee to jump out and say "Gotcha!" I wake up looking forward to my good morning mommy, hugs and kisses and all I get is a big sloppy wet kiss from Abbey. No offense to Abbey I mean she's great and all, but I miss my bear hugs from JP, I miss cleaning up his highchair, I miss my chats with Kailee, I miss those darn kindergarten workbooks. I miss hearing the kids play in the backyard, bicker over a toy, splashing water all over the bathroom floor. I miss making them breakfast and dancing afterwords in the kitchen while we clean up. I even miss Wow Wow Wuzby, Barney, Caliou, Word World, Dora, Diego, Clifford, and Super Why. Now I know something is wrong with me LOL However, I am enjoying the alone time with Paul. That is nice. It's nice to have an adult conversation without mommy I'm hungry, are we there yet, I need to go potty. I just wish I didn't miss the kids so much...I wish I could have it both ways. And mostly, I wish my back would magically fix itself so I never have to be away from my kids again.

P.S. These two pics crack me up. Kailee decided to put her bow in Justin's hair b/c she said and I quote "He looks exactly like me, but I'm cuter."